BreastFeeding-LOVE IT

It has been two and half months since I gave birth to my third son. I am in love again and its crazy how much love I have for this child. It amazes me that I can love yet another child. Before he was born, I decided that I was going to breastfeed him no matter what. I started out breastfeeding my second son but didn’t really see the benefit and stopped after three months. Really wish I hadn’t done so. I think because I was still young I expected everything to work like the stories I had been reading but of course every story is different and individual experiences are not going to be the same.  I was expecting the weight to just fall off but it did not and I became frustrated and just stopped. How selfish was I? But like I said I was still a young mom (22). Before my third one came along, I made the decision to stick with it even once I went back to work.  This time around it has been awesome. I have support from everyone and it is great. At first I was a little uneasy with breastfeeding around my older kids, but because it didn’t seem to bother them I became more at ease. I am pumping for when I am away at work and everything is working out well. I am just working to build up a stash though; finding that to be a little difficult.  I have lost all the baby weight I gained and then some but this time it really wasn’t about me losing weight but me providing my baby with what he needs. I am enjoying the process. I love to feed him and have him look up into face as if to say, “Thanks mom”.  Not knocking anyone who formula feeds but I see the difference with my older two kids and my youngest already. There are truly some great benefits for him in breastfeeding. I would suggest to all new moms to at least try it. 

Building My Confidence

So this year I would like to do something that I always seem to avoid. I am going to work on my confidence. Let’s see if I can explain my dilemma. I know that I am capable of doing certain things but I am afraid that when it comes time for me to perform that I won’t be up to par. My latest lack of confidence in myself is applying for a job that actually has to do with what I am going to school for. I was a little intimidated when I begin to apply for the job because of the questions that they asked. They begin to ask my experience with the programs that will be heavily relied on to do the job. I guess it’s the way I work. I learn how to do things through trial and error but if I was asked specifically how to do something it may take me awhile to explain. I know that I can do it but I become so unsure about myself. This is how it has always been. I have always been unsure about myself when “people are looking”. When there is no one looking at me, I can do what I need to do with no problem and feel confident about the quality of my work. I don’t know how I am going to build my confidence but I think I will start by applying for the job.

Real Love

Many excuse the fact that love, real love, is work. You cannot just go into a relationship thinking that it is going to be all fairy tales and all that comes with that misconception. LOVE IS WORK! That is the simplest way to put it. If you love someone, truly love someone, you have to be willing to accept the good with the bad. Love is not easy to maintain. Okay let me rephrase that. Relationships are not easy to maintain. Love, I think, you really can’t control. Love just [kind of] happens. If it is real love, it will just sneak up on you most of the time. I mean it won’t happen just because you want it to. Let me explain that statement. You can’t make love happen. If someone is meant to love you, they will. On the other hand, don’t think you have to be with someone just because they love you. Don’t be in a loveless relationship. But that is a whole other story. Love is what you make it. So make it the best you can.