LOVE AFFAIR IS GONE

The love affair is gone but I can’t seem to let go. My little dude is thirteen months and breastfeeding has run its course for me but I am having a hard time doing what I need to do to stop the process. I have sought advice, researched and even attempted to stop breastfeeding him but it seems that I am finding it hard to do. These kids have made me SOFT! Before kids, I remember saying things like “I will just stop it when I am ready”, “my child ain’t gonna be like that” (bad grammar intended), and other stuff like that because I thought it was easy to “control” a child. I think my parents made it look easy because I was difficult but I would eventually do what they wanted and pretty quickly. (My parents may disagree with the last statement…LOL.) My desire is to stop breastfeeding but this is not my son’s desire at all. He doesn’t breastfeed as much as he used but he very determined when he wants it. On one hand, I feel like I superstar because he prefers mommy’s milk; on the other hand, I feel confined and I want to be FREE! I do so love that I have been able to breastfeed him this long because I wasn’t able to at all with my first and my second only breastfed for three months. In my previous post, I raved hopelessly about breastfeeding and it has been a wonderful experience but I think I want my body back now (and so does my husband!) I am so thankful that he has been wonderfully supportive of me and my decision to want to breastfeed. Even though he tells me now he wasn’t really happy about it at first, he has always been supportive to my face. I am not really sure if I can stop until he is ready but I will be making the attempt to this week. Should I be asking God to help with this process? I mean am I being selfish because I want to stop? That is what I am supposed to do, right? The dilemma of being a breastfeeding mom!

BreastFeeding-LOVE IT

It has been two and half months since I gave birth to my third son. I am in love again and its crazy how much love I have for this child. It amazes me that I can love yet another child. Before he was born, I decided that I was going to breastfeed him no matter what. I started out breastfeeding my second son but didn’t really see the benefit and stopped after three months. Really wish I hadn’t done so. I think because I was still young I expected everything to work like the stories I had been reading but of course every story is different and individual experiences are not going to be the same.  I was expecting the weight to just fall off but it did not and I became frustrated and just stopped. How selfish was I? But like I said I was still a young mom (22). Before my third one came along, I made the decision to stick with it even once I went back to work.  This time around it has been awesome. I have support from everyone and it is great. At first I was a little uneasy with breastfeeding around my older kids, but because it didn’t seem to bother them I became more at ease. I am pumping for when I am away at work and everything is working out well. I am just working to build up a stash though; finding that to be a little difficult.  I have lost all the baby weight I gained and then some but this time it really wasn’t about me losing weight but me providing my baby with what he needs. I am enjoying the process. I love to feed him and have him look up into face as if to say, “Thanks mom”.  Not knocking anyone who formula feeds but I see the difference with my older two kids and my youngest already. There are truly some great benefits for him in breastfeeding. I would suggest to all new moms to at least try it.