LOVE AFFAIR IS GONE

The love affair is gone but I can’t seem to let go. My little dude is thirteen months and breastfeeding has run its course for me but I am having a hard time doing what I need to do to stop the process. I have sought advice, researched and even attempted to stop breastfeeding him but it seems that I am finding it hard to do. These kids have made me SOFT! Before kids, I remember saying things like “I will just stop it when I am ready”, “my child ain’t gonna be like that” (bad grammar intended), and other stuff like that because I thought it was easy to “control” a child. I think my parents made it look easy because I was difficult but I would eventually do what they wanted and pretty quickly. (My parents may disagree with the last statement…LOL.) My desire is to stop breastfeeding but this is not my son’s desire at all. He doesn’t breastfeed as much as he used but he very determined when he wants it. On one hand, I feel like I superstar because he prefers mommy’s milk; on the other hand, I feel confined and I want to be FREE! I do so love that I have been able to breastfeed him this long because I wasn’t able to at all with my first and my second only breastfed for three months. In my previous post, I raved hopelessly about breastfeeding and it has been a wonderful experience but I think I want my body back now (and so does my husband!) I am so thankful that he has been wonderfully supportive of me and my decision to want to breastfeed. Even though he tells me now he wasn’t really happy about it at first, he has always been supportive to my face. I am not really sure if I can stop until he is ready but I will be making the attempt to this week. Should I be asking God to help with this process? I mean am I being selfish because I want to stop? That is what I am supposed to do, right? The dilemma of being a breastfeeding mom!