No Compromise before Marriage

I don't know if this will make sense but I don't think you should compromise before marriage. Your significant other asks you to do something that you don't agree with then maybe this is not the one for you. When you are married to someone compromise is something that is a given so if you willing to compromise on something you just don't agree with then you are not ready for marriage. To me compromise is a gift reserved for your partner for life not just some random dude. Just like sex. If I am not your wife then you don't the benefits of me being your wife. My duties as a wife don't start until I say I do nor do your duties as a husband. I really don't understand how a person can expect so much before the vows have been. Vows are much stronger than a promise. You make those vows in front of God and they are expected to be kept. Expecting a person to change the way they think and what they believe is not a sign of maturity. Your spouse to be has to know that you will respect their values and beliefs and not try and change them to what you want them to be. Run the other way if the person is trying to change you.

New Year Changes, Not Resolutions

Four more days until the New Year and I think this year will be the year for change for me. One goal I have is to not have idle time. This means I want my days to be filled up with activities and not just sitting around watching the days go by. I want to have a productive year and do some things that will better me and my family. I want to be a more positive person and not just look for the negatives in a situation. I really hope I can accomplish this. Of course, I want to lose weight but I am really trying to make the effort now to began instead of waiting for January 1, 2011. I have to give up some things which is proving to be very hard. I want to reconnect my relationship with God and find a church home for my family. Somewhere that I feel comfortable and not afraid of people just trying to be in my business. I want my kids to have the foundation I had and know that they must put their trust in God and not in man. That is a whole other post which may be coming real soon. I want to continue my education. I feel like I have found the degree that I want and I am doing really well in the program. It took me a long to find it but I am glad I finally did. This year I also would like to start the process of getting out of debt. It really is no fun being in debt. I look forward to the year ahead and all the challenges that it will bring. I know those challenges are set forth to make me a better person, wife and mother.

Your Life Experiences Don’t Make You an Expert

We all go through things in our lives but that doesn't make you an expert. My experiences don't make me an expert on being a parent or a wife; they do allow me to be able to offer advice on what has worked for me. When I give advice, I don't expect the person to do the exact same thing I did. I just want to offer that person an option. People ask advice because they really just want options. You cannot go into a conversation like you know everything. Sometimes it's good just to listen. You can learn a lot from people, even if you don't think you can. I am wondering how a person can come to the conclusion that you know everything when the reality is you have only hit the tip of the iceberg. I have only lived one life which means to me that every other person has been through something that I may never have. I know that some people just don't get that and think their life experiences make them an expert on everything. That to me is sad because it means that you are learning from one point of view. Simply put sometimes it's good to just shut up and listen. But hey you can't make everyone listen.

30-Something Now

Ok so I am officially 30-something and I don't really know if anything has changed. I did find a few more gray hairs and I know I added a few pounds because of all the cake I ate. There will probably be more of those since Thanksgiving is this week. I have been thinking about something in particular though. Let's see if I can put this into the right words to get my point across. We all have desires, things that we want but we don't always know how to get them. We pray and ask God to give this to us and we know he will provide but it seems like he is not answering that particular prayer. I have been thinking about this for about a week now and I recently had a revelation. If you want the desires of your heart you have to start living like you already have them. If you know an aspect of your life is not compatible with the life you want then you have to take the steps to move forward and not keep the old habits that you know will not fly in the life you desire. I hope this makes sense. I am working on this with my finances and my weight loss goals. Even though I have not actually started practicing this with the weight loss, I am taking notes on what I need to get rid of so I can accomplish my goals. I want to be the best that I can be and I know that I have to make some changes to achieve those goals. So what I am trying to say is please take inventory and be realistic on things that are hindering your progression. Be honest with yourself and know that you have to make changes. So that is what I have been on my mind. I hope this helps someone because it helped me.

Good Can Win

A few Saturdays ago was supposed to be just a family day and it was but we also ended up being part of a beautiful thing. We went to a comedy and magic show at the Improv. They said that they were taping for a DVD but it was too many cameras. As we were walking in, the bus from Extreme Makeover Home Edition was driving up. I didn't think anything of it. We went in and went to our seats and the show began. There was a family sitting down from us that I took notice to because they were all natural. The mom had a beautiful fro with an orange flower, the father had some long dreads and each of the daughters, five in total, all had sets of dreads that were beautifully styled. As the show started, the first act came out and did his set. I was continuing to think that there were way too many cameras for a DVD. After the first act was done, the host came out to introduce the next act. He said where ever this next act goes they always bring the house down and out comes Ty and the gang and of course it is for the beautiful family in the front. They then showed their story and exactly why they were chosen to get their house built by the show. They are family counselors for the community they live in. They also would take the kids in the neighborhood out to a theme park on their own dime so they could have a day of fun. It was just nice to see a family so deserving getting their just due. Very encouraging to see kindness being rewarded.

http://www.culturemap.com/newsdetail/07-25-10-no-joke-goodhope-street-home-revealed-as-extreme-makeover-houston-rebuild-choice/

It’s Time…

Ok so this semester is over and it was really stressful. I only took two classes but my husband took a full load plus he was doing projects and was gone a lot on the weekends. My kids and I did not enjoy this but we did make it through. So I have been thinking about this topic for a long time and I just hadn't the energy to sit down and type it up. I really don't now but it is my blog and I would like to keep it going. I have been married for 10 years (on Wednesday) and it has always been me and husband and a child or two. When you saw one of us, you saw all of us. There was only one time when that wasn't true and that may be another post. Anyways, this year was really the first time that we were not around each other that much and it drove me nuts. I found myself becoming really needy and wanting to be around him as much as I could and not wanting to share him with anyone but it was out of my hands and it was really nothing I could do about it. He had projects to do for school or he would be helping someone with their project. So I had to realize that I couldn't have him all the time. Then it hit me. It was time for me to do my own thing like he was doing. Easier said than done because I am having a fit now because he is not home. Didn't say that I was executing my revelation but at least I am aware. My only problem is I am not sure what my "thing" is. Yeah I want to write but this will be the first time that I am not occupied with school or something and I actually have time to write. Now I am searching for ideas on what to write but I am determined to write. I am trying to identify myself not just as his wife or their mother but as me. I love being the wife and mother but the kids will be gone soon and I don't want to drive my husband crazy even though sometimes that is fun…lol! So I am on a search for my "thing". I like my natural hair and my husband has suggested that I start making YouTube videos but I am not sure I can bring anything new to the table. I am determined to have fun on this search so who know what I will get into.

Thanks for reading…

Real Love

Many excuse the fact that love, real love, is work. You cannot just go into a relationship thinking that it is going to be all fairy tales and all that comes with that misconception. LOVE IS WORK! That is the simplest way to put it. If you love someone, truly love someone, you have to be willing to accept the good with the bad. Love is not easy to maintain. Okay let me rephrase that. Relationships are not easy to maintain. Love, I think, you really can’t control. Love just [kind of] happens. If it is real love, it will just sneak up on you most of the time. I mean it won’t happen just because you want it to. Let me explain that statement. You can’t make love happen. If someone is meant to love you, they will. On the other hand, don’t think you have to be with someone just because they love you. Don’t be in a loveless relationship. But that is a whole other story. Love is what you make it. So make it the best you can.