We Need To Change

A friend on Facebook shared a post one of their friends made. In a nutshell, they basically asked the question: How can we expect those of other races to respect us if we don’t respect ourselves? This is concerning the fallout of Paula Deen using then n-word supposedly only one time many years ago and how people on social media sites have gone after the young lady who was the last one to talk to Trayvon Martin. She is a young woman who is 19 and still in high school and admittedly cannot read cursive writing. I have chosen not to look up what is being said about the young lady but I am quite positive that people have been pretty harsh. So I think the bigger question that needs to be asked why cannot she not read cursive writing? Then my next question is that a skill that we really need to have? I mean let’s take an honest look at this. We rarely write letters anymore. We don’t use cursive when we do write. None of the social media is in cursive. Everything is in print not cursive so is it really bad that she can’t read cursive? I wonder what has happened in her life that she is still in high school. Is she the product of a broken home or a subpar school system. I think it is really sad that the first thing that most people can do is point out her short comings and harp on them. None of us are perfect and I am sure that if we were in her same position that we would not be at our best. It is so easy for folks to hide behind social media and talk down on someone but it could be just as easy to show support. So I ask the question again, how can we expect others to respect us if we attack a young sister who is in a difficult situation?
I think we need to reevaluate how we treat each other.

Community Wealth Creates

I have been taking a class in this semester titled African American Family. I wasn’t sure how this class would be because I knew it was the first semester that this class has been offered. There are many aspects that have resonated with me but one thing that we covered that really caught my attention was when we went over wealth in the African American community. It was interesting to me because I have been, in the last year or so, looking for ways to increase my families’ wealth not just the income. I have gotten involved with a couple businesses that encourage training and changing the way we think about obtaining wealth.

One thing that really stood out to me was this idea: To obtain individual wealth, it requires community wealth. I had even asked one day in class why was it important to that African Americans “reach back” when they become successful and then something was explained. The reality is somebody who has become successful did not do it without the help of someone or many people. An example that was given: If Tom, a successful Caucasian CEO, has a position available within his company, he will most likely tell his family and friends before he tells a stranger or even releases it to the public. But if James, a successful black CEO, has a position within his company, he is more likely to release it to the public so that a complete stranger will have the opportunity to get the job before someone he knows will. At first, I was a bit offended by this statement but when I sat down and really looked at this objectively it turned out to be true. Of course, not in all situations but it occurs quite often. Why do we (African Americans) feel that it is not appropriate to help our own?

Do we think it is showing favoritism? Tom is not worried about how it appears so why should we? Why not give someone you know the opportunity to better themselves or provide a better living for their family? I mean really is that so wrong? I don’t know but I can be honest and say that I have thought sometimes about not helping someone in my race because I felt that they wouldn’t appreciate it or capitalize on the opportunity. That is so wrong but I can honestly admit that I have thought it.

So I know its cliché, but I am going to say it. I am starting with me. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” So I am making the effort to volunteer and work to actually improve my community and not just complain about the problems. It is easy to sit and say that there needs to be some improvement within the community but it would make more sense if I contributed to the solution. I am not real sure how I will do this but I do have some leads and will make the effort to improve my community and not just my immediate family. I want to be an example and provide my community with a true role model.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!

 

 

Write It Down

A few weeks back, I begin my first semester back at a university and I soon realized that I needed some help. I knew that the study habits I had used in the past were not going to cut  it because I was not the same student I was when I went to college for the first time. I have been back in school since 2005 and I just recently decided to try and get my bachelor's.

At the same time, I have been working with a couple of businesses. I am learning to set goals and make plans.Through the training from both companies there has been an emphasis on setting and achieving those goals. I was trying to do certain things they suggested but things were not working out the way I was expecting them to.

One thing I got from both is that in order to keep up with and be accountable you must simply WRITE IT DOWN! I didn’t think it mattered much but I soon learned that this simple task can create some great results.

So I guess new mantra is: WRITE IT DOWN!

That includes goals, ideas, dreams, wants, groceries, anything that I cannot do at the moment I think of it needs to be and will be written down.

Writing it down allows you to revisit and actually complete your goals. I know for me this has helped a great deal because in my head I will say “I will do it later” or “I will remember to do it” and later never comes. So in discovering this technique I know that the things I want to complete, will be completed because all I have to do is read.

So I will end this post by saying: WRITE IT DOWN!!! and make things happen!

LOVE AFFAIR IS GONE

The love affair is gone but I can’t seem to let go. My little dude is thirteen months and breastfeeding has run its course for me but I am having a hard time doing what I need to do to stop the process. I have sought advice, researched and even attempted to stop breastfeeding him but it seems that I am finding it hard to do. These kids have made me SOFT! Before kids, I remember saying things like “I will just stop it when I am ready”, “my child ain’t gonna be like that” (bad grammar intended), and other stuff like that because I thought it was easy to “control” a child. I think my parents made it look easy because I was difficult but I would eventually do what they wanted and pretty quickly. (My parents may disagree with the last statement…LOL.) My desire is to stop breastfeeding but this is not my son’s desire at all. He doesn’t breastfeed as much as he used but he very determined when he wants it. On one hand, I feel like I superstar because he prefers mommy’s milk; on the other hand, I feel confined and I want to be FREE! I do so love that I have been able to breastfeed him this long because I wasn’t able to at all with my first and my second only breastfed for three months. In my previous post, I raved hopelessly about breastfeeding and it has been a wonderful experience but I think I want my body back now (and so does my husband!) I am so thankful that he has been wonderfully supportive of me and my decision to want to breastfeed. Even though he tells me now he wasn’t really happy about it at first, he has always been supportive to my face. I am not really sure if I can stop until he is ready but I will be making the attempt to this week. Should I be asking God to help with this process? I mean am I being selfish because I want to stop? That is what I am supposed to do, right? The dilemma of being a breastfeeding mom!

Upon My Graduation (I WILL GRADUATE)

I am not sure what exactly I will be doing to impact the community but I do know that I will impact my immediate community, which includes my three sons. I want to show them that they can accomplish anything no matter how the odds are stacked against you. I have circumstances that some would look at as great obstacles and probably would give up on pursuing a degree but I am using them instead as fuel to move me ahead. I want my kids to be everything that they can be because I take my role as a parent/mother very seriously. I look at my children and I already know that they will change the world for the better. I want those around me to see that with determination you can accomplish your dreams. It has taken me many years to get a degree but I know that once I receive it, I will surely appreciate it more than if I had gotten it when I was younger. I am pursuing a degree in Sociology and I am still not sure about a minor but it will most likely be English since I plan on pursuing writing as a career. I am hoping that through studying sociology I will learn about what makes people tick so that what I write and share with the world can easily be interpreted and understood. It is my desire to uplift, inspire and provide a break from reality for my readers. I want to share the things that have helped my through my difficult times. Inspiring people with my God given gift of writing is my ultimate goal. I will leave you with a sample of my writing:

The process is ongoing

See I am still me

My outlook is different

Can’t you see?

No matter if you don’t

I know there is a difference

Because a while ago

I would’ve gotten mad

‘Cause you didn’t see

Makes me no never mind

The difference is there

The difference from then ‘til now

I truly do not care

About what you may think of me

Or what you think you see

Just that I am happy

With the changes in me

On Being An Adult

So my oldest asked if it was hard being an adult and my first quick response was yes! But then I begin to think about it and came to the realization that being an adult is not hard but the choices you make when you are young can make being an adult harder than it needs to be. One thing I believe people should take into account is it is okay to learn from others mistakes. While it is very true that we all must live and learn, it is also quite okay to watch someone else live and learn from their mistake. You don't have to experience everything and everything is not worth experiencing. Let's just say that I wish that I knew what I knew now. I mean I have no regrets but there are some things I would have done that I was afraid to do. I want my kids to have the confidence to do whatever they want and I want them to be happy. So I can honestly say that being an adult is not hard. The decisions you make throughout life determine that.

EMAIL CONFIDENCE

I want EMAIL CONFIDENCE. You may be wondering what EMAIL CONFIDENCE is. Well let me explain. In email, I can be very confident and assertive without being aggressive if that makes sense. But if I am speaking to you in person, I have to search for words and I tend to be quite shy about getting my point across to someone.  This is the case in some situations for me.  In emails, I can be so confident and get my point across so well but it would be like a totally different person if I were to ask or present the topic in person. Sad but true. As I am writing this, I am wondering if it is just about confidence or just being prepared. I can say that when I go into a situation thinking that I am prepared but it becomes quite clear that I am not when I begin to speak. It is quite frustrating because you always want to appear to be put together and on top of things. My husband suggests that I practice speaking but can that truly help when you have to talk about or present something out of the blue? Maybe it can if you want it to. I wonder why I have such a hard time doing this because I have all figured out in my head but when comes time to say it I can sound like an idiot. Maybe that is a bit harsh but that is how I feel at times. I can know about something and be confident in my knowing but when it comes to sharing I feel like people will look at me and wonder “what makes her such an expert?” or “why should I take what she says seriously?”. I know that it doesn’t help to feel this way but it is how I feel. I want that EMAIL CONFIDENCE!

EMAIL CONFIDENCE